


Legally lecturing

by NumberThirteen



Series: Sherlock and Co. Explain It All [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: British prisons, Lectures, new scotland yard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 12:11:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18660196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NumberThirteen/pseuds/NumberThirteen
Summary: When a prisoner mentions federal prison, Sherlock can’t help himself...





	Legally lecturing

“You can’t make me tell you nuffin’!” bellowed the prisoner, “You can send me to federal prison and I’ll still not tell you anyfing!”

DI Lestrade sighed, running his hands through his grey hair. Briefly he thought back to when his hair had been chestnut brown, but that was when he was a young police constable, before paperwork, management, and knowing the Holmes brothers had left their mark. Speaking of which...

“Are you an idiot? Federal prison?” scoffed the younger of the said Holmes brothers, “Do you even know what country you’re in?”

“What? England innit. Don’t you know? You and the fuckin’ feds there.” The prisoner gestured at both the D.I. and the consulting pest. Sorry. Detective. Lestrade sighed, and settled down to listen to an oft-repeated lecture.

“You are correct in that this is England, part of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. We are also not the United States of America - are you keeping up with this so far?” queried Sherlock, and not receiving an answer from the increasingly sullen prisoner, continued his lecture. “The United States of America is a group of separate states, working together and overseen by a federal government. The United Kingdom is not a federal country. It is a country that is so not federal, that it does not have 911, feds or federal prisons. It has 999, police and prisons. Can you now understand the difference between the United States of America and the United Kingdom?”

“What’ll it take for him to shut up?” asked the prisoner.

Lestrade allowed himself a moment to visualise a very non-professional way to shut the Consulting Detective up, before replying “Best thing is to tell us what you know about the robberies, or I’ll ask him what he thinks about people who can’t use apostrophes correctly...”

**Author's Note:**

> I have seen a spate of fics that have DI Lestrade and/or Mycroft using the threat of federal prison against people, and my inner Sherlock couldn’t take it any more. Especially in some otherwise excellent fics. 
> 
> In case you were wondering exactly what DI Lestrade thought of to shut Sherlock up, well, it was that. Yes, that thing you just visualised, except without the lemon curd.
> 
> If it isn’t amazingly obvious to you, I am not Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Steven Moffat or Mark Gatiss. That means I don’t own any of the characters in the Sherlock Holmes or Sherlock canon, no matter how much I wish I did. I’m just playing with them for fun and will dust them down and put them back when I’m finished. Honest.


End file.
